Saturday on the down low....

So the mold count in Austin is off the chart this week which means I've been suffering with horrendous allergies.

M has had the flu as well and I felt crappy enough yesterday that I didn't go to the salon. Last night I couldn't stop coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose ad nauseum. (although I did my 3 sets of push ups before bed 32 total) M said I must surely be coming down with what he had. I must say I almost believed him since I had that woozy "coming down with something" feeling--which I almost never get. Because I never get sick! Why? Because I've said all my life "I never get sick" and so people drop like video store prices all around and I never catch anything. I slept late this morning and didn't feel like I was getting the flu--just miserable allergies.

I do feel out of sorts in a weird, dizzy, head achey way since I ran out of that one med that I take. It will be another few days before I can buy the refill. Mdolla, Goddess of $$$ pray for me in this my season of need.....

M insisted that I was indeed sick and that I should take the day off today. I took a cue from my dogs and spent the day resting and healing. Even took Dag and Red out for our walk/jog in the high afternoon sun and had a good sweat. Crashed for three hours this afternoon. Colored my grey roots and gave myself a sparkly tan in a can so I feel a bit better. Tonight I will run out of weed. And so it begins again...

I have decided to cancel my Gold's gym membership since I have been running outside and working out at home. Partly it's because every dollar counts at the moment and partly I need a change of scenery. There's a new gym near the house that's 10 bucks a month so I may try that later on this year. But for now I'm getting creative and doing stuff at home. Our livingroom is plenty big enough to jump around in and the thick solid wood coffee table that was a present from DW for my massage graduation many, many moons ago makes for a good step.

I'm getting Women's Health magazine again and they have super cool at home workouts I've been dabbling in. Tomorrow I'm going up to the Barn to ride for the first time in a week. I patched the holes in the ass of my riding pants. :) Can't wait to hang out with my Shaggy!

Soldier on....

Onward through the fog....

That's the slogan for Oat Willie's, a marvelous head shop here in Austin. They are the only place I know of in town that carries my favorite AIRS incense. Must get over there soon with my darling TH whom I haven't seen in many moons....

So I've been meditating for brief 5 minute snatches here and there. I have my little prayer altar set up in the closet in my room with a single candle (white w/Lady Guadelupe on it). I've read that most people don't keep up with meditating b/c they get frustrated that they can't do it perfectly (ie: their mind wanders off to the laundromat or the porn shop no matter how they try to focus on their breath). I just decided it didn't matter whether I was doing it right, as long as I sat in the closet for a few minutes. It's definitely "working" b/c I look forward to stealing 10 minutes in the closet (I keep the door open in case anyone cares). "Studies have shown" that even just 3 minutes of sitting quietly with the intention to meditate can make a huge difference in one's general wellbeing. Knowing that I can run in there and sit quietly for 3 minutes and it counts as doing something to change my life for the positive makes me want to do it more. Maybe I'll really freak my freakin' freak and start doing it twice a day!!

I also worked out today--did a half hour run/walk with both Dag and Red around our 'hood(not the most graceful of maneuvers) and then did many push ups and curls with 12 lb dumb bells in my living room. Yay for progress. Yet sad to feel how weak I am compared to when I was training with weights and running religiously. The last time I had that going on was several years back now. I was running a lot and getting to the gym for weights a few times a week. And I had a nightly push up ritual. Those were the days when I was still really diggin' on Citizen Cope and could listen to song after song and work off my single-gal frustration with crunches arm-balances. How I want those lovely slightly protruding hip bones back!

The very best shape I've been in as far as strength and conditioning was a time when I was singing and performing on the Swing 5 nights a week, plus doing really challenging weight workouts and yoga several times a week. When I'm down at the low end of my lifetime weight swing I look all toned and solid--I daresay not unlike my girl Ms. Shue over there in the photo. (This shot was taken around the time of Leaving Las Vegas but she's still drop dead delish...) My goals now are to get back into yoga--my dear beau M has decided that he wants to try it in an effort to be a good Buddhist. I also want to be running the entire 1.4 mile route that M and I have been doing, well okay were doing.

Anyway, I'm trying to use this blog to inspire myself to break old habits and make healthier new ones. I alsoand help keep me motivated to face the truth of my life day to day. Today was pretty good. I did smoke--but didn't eat any junk food. And I meditated and worked out and made sure all 5 of my dogs got exercise today. I have an audition tomorrow for the US Army. A live theatre sort of gig I think. It pays fairly well so it would be welcomed if I got it. Will check in again soon..........

The killer awoke before Dawn, he put his boots on-- and kicked her ass...

I've been in the clutches of my disease Addiction this weekend. Been smoking the ganja from L since Friday and disturbed myself with how easy it was today, when I ran out, to say "I'm going to get snowcones" and then instead sent the old text to L and copped within ten minutes. I did heroin daily for years and never once copped it myself. Weed's too easy. Anyway, I'm not buying for the rest of the week. That's my final answer.

Still on my Doors kick, which my loving boyfriend informed me this morning has been going on since May 3rd. Observant/psychotic much? Reading the newest, and the best one I've read of Jimbo biographies: Jim Morrison: Life, Death, Legend by Stephen Davis. Really gives a full picture of Morrison's early life (all I've read so far). The author apparently had access to Jim's diaries and notebooks and the book includes little family details and personal musings that present Jim in a very human light, someone you'd like to hang out with. He was a crazy brat, for sure. But for the most part he was an intelligent, shy, goofball that worked in the library in college. How I wish I knew him. Hee-hee...

I finally got up to the Barn today and hung out with my boy Shaggy! It was a gorgeous sunny breezy day and way "only" supposed to be 90 degrees but it felt so much hotter. I was wrecked by the end of our ride and even Shag was breathing a bit hard. I hosed him down afterward and then stood in the deepest shade we could find and let him eat grass while the breeze dried us both off. Then off course he rolled as soon as he got back to the pasture. Got down in the dirt and flung all four legs into the air, rubbing the whole left side of his chestnut body from neck to flanks. He heaves himself to standing, turns around and kneels down again, this time rolling onto the other side. Most horses are too big to roll all the way over. I've only seen ponies do it.

My food has been OK. My weight has been hanging at the very number it usually settles at when I'm just doing OK w/food and slacking on workouts, which I have been, and dreadfully so this past week. M wants to take yoga now so I'm psyched to go back to that. I miss it a lot. I did do 30 push ups last night. Going to go for 35 tonight. Over and out.